Momma, don't let your daughters grow up to be lesbians or hang out with them!

Well my blog is generally driven by emotion or fodder and I've wanted to write the past couple of days but couldn't focus on a topic. Thanks to a friend's parent I now have fodder.

So one of my bestest friends in the whole world who has been there through thick or thin (and I've really only known less than a year, so a testament to her awesomeness) managed to be produced from right wing conservatism that borders on fanatic. Okay maybe that's harsh but you'll see why I group her so extremely when she's done the exact same to me.

First off if this is your first time to my blog I should give a little background...I'm a lesbian. There now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's proceed.

History. I haven't even met "mom" (my bf's fundamentalist right wing conservative parental figure, hereafter known as mom) but she's cropped up on FB threads and gotten a little snippy with me so I started openly communicating more with her on common threads. Now at the time I didn't realize she was being snippy with me. You have to love this family for their sense of humor. They all crack me up and my bf started it all. I just assumed they'd ALL be as cool as her. Her brother knows a joke from a jab and while I'm friends with her sister as well, she's the silent FB stalker type. I imagine as funny as the other two, but I'm gonna bet she didn't compete and win often for the spotlight with them. OMG, they are fun. Now that we have their awesomeness established let the story begin.

My 9.5 year marriage ended just before Christmas. I was devastated and broken. All of my amazing friends were there to pick me up and carry me through the holidays. My sister in law took me shopping and outfitted me in some sexy new garb, my bf let me hang out and have dinner before a New Year's Eve party, and my LESBIAN friends invited me to a party with them to get me out. So I put on my new make-upped face, my cleavage revealing sexy garb and headed out the door with my booze in hand. After dinner and moving on to the party I had a text exchange with my bf where she told me I was gonna crack up at her FB post. It was sometime before I got a chance to look at it but when I did she was right and it had already gone to the next level. She posted,"Amy Westwood is hot!" (So I'm just gonna post the thread, the names have been removed to protect the innocent and the guilty, I'll highlight mom's comment and the thread has been edited to remove comments that did not affect the outcome).

My BF's original Post
Amy Westwood is hot! :)
Person 1
Who is Amy Westwood???
My BF
My newly single, hot lesbian bestie! LOL! She came over tonight to show us her new self.......
Person 2
Damn, she must of been good!
Mom
Seriously....call me!!! Geejus....
Amy 'West' Westwood
thanks all, i got many compliments.

So the most interesting part of this thread is her mom's comment obviously. I let it go but my bf and I talked about it. She was like I don't really know what crawled up her craw. So moving on to the next interesting story. All was quiet on the mom front and my bestie and I decided to take our boys to the Pacific Science Center one Sunday and hang out. We had ton's of fun and she brought her camera as usual and she documented the good time. So pictures, just to pick on her mom, she planted one on my cheek and posted on FB and the caption read,"This one's for you mom."

Apparently she wasn't amused. I thought it was freakin' hilarious. I friended her on FB but she never responded. Now I've poked fun at her over the time between this pic (mid-January) to now but she hasn't been biting. Then her son, whom I'm also FB friends with is a metrosexual [defined as follows on wikipedia: a portmanteau of metropolitan and heterosexual, is a neologism of the 2000s that refers to a heterosexual man (especially one living in a post-industrial, capitalist culture) that has a strong concern for his appearance or a lifestyle that displays attributes stereotypically associated with homosexual men. Debate surrounds the term's use as a theoretical signifier of sex deconstruction and its associations with consumerism.] and starts posting all of these metrosexual things he's been doing, cooking Paula Dean recipes buying Egyption cotton 750 thread count sheets etc. and I insinuated on FB that he was gay. My exact comment was something to the effect that his mom was worried about the "wrong" kid being turned to the dark side. Well she so was not amused cuz here was her response to my comment:

Mom's comment
I don't have "wrong" kids, you see...I have kids that have brains and can figure out their own destiny! If the dark side makes one happy, then that's fine, but I don't think any one on the dark side is truly happy!! Sorry....

Wow, clearly she misinterpreted the "wrong" comment. Because what I was referring to was that she was worried about her daughter turning to the dark side versus her son. But to generalize and say that no one on the dark side is truly happy? Well fodder found.

She later had a chat with my bf where the topic came up and she finally just let her true feelings be known and her straw that broke the camels back statement, which my bestie forwarded to me was,"I can't believe you all are so friendly with them. Next thing I know she will have you talked into BEING ONE OF THEM haha."

So the implication here is that first, it's a choice. Maybe for some that might be the case. But this is something I feel passionately enough about I wrote a research paper for my genetics class on the topic. Do I think it's genetic? Maybe there's a combination of genes that can be switched, but the most likely culprit is from the pregnancy itself. The papers I've read (yes, I'm educated as she insinuated to her daughter, we were all unintelligent) give some indication it has to do with hormone levels during key developmental processes during gestation (hopefully if she reads this, the words aren't too big for her). For instance when sexual organs are formed there has to be precise hormonal levels that dictate how the glands of the baby release their own hormones to start development. If for any reason estrogen is off or testosterone or progesterone, the mom is actually affecting the baby's sexual organ development and thus tendencies will be affected. Now the mother has no way of knowing if her hormones are out of balance or not, but environment can affect these things. If the mom is stressed for some reason or her diet is not right, etc. It's such a complicated factor its not something that is ever likely to be "fixed". Not too mention it's also a key explanation for the degree of variability in sexual orientation. I've been super dyke, butch, soft butch and at one time even femme. I wasn't trying to self identify with being a man. I was just trying to find how I was comfortable. What would attract the type of woman I'd be interested in. As it turns out I'm not attracted to super dyke or femme. I prefer someone middle of the road just as I am. I like to be cute and wear makeup and dress in tight clothes. I'm not fond of heels and I can't even see myself wearing a tie again. It's a process that most lesbians go through. It's a process most people go through. Teenagers go through it all the time. They'll dress grunge through high school then in college get a law degree and wear suits the rest of their lives. It's a matter of comfort and finding your niche. Not your sexuality.

Then to imply all gay people are unhappy because they are gay? Seriously? Really? First of all I was never happier than when I finally figured out that I wasn't mental but that I was gay and it's not wrong to be attracted to women. Second of all, most pedophiles are straight. Do you think they are happy? Mom's Catholic too and she says I'm unhappy for being gay? Hello the institution you worship under is filled with men who fondle little boys on a regular basis. Secondly I know lot's of gays and lesbians that are happy. I was until my marriage fell apart and I'm not unhappy now because I'm gay, I'm unhappy now because my marriage failed, just like my bestie went through when she divorced. I have friends that are so cheesy happy that it's impossible not to believe in love and happiness when you see them together. So Mom next time you decide to generalize pick something other than sexuality to bite on...maybe you could have chosen my white trashiness or my redneck upbringing. Apparently she has opinions on all these topics as she's a foremost expert on judging other people. I don't know my bible and I'm not a "believer" but what I do believe is that there is just some sound advice in the "good" book and one of those things is,"Judge not lest ye be judged." Next time you want to pick on someone, pick on someone who's stupid and can't defend themselves. Cuz I can.

Spin Class or Metaphor for Recovery

So I’ve been going to this spin class with my peeps for about a month or so now and I really like the instructor. The catch is I’ve done a class with two different instructors and liked both. This week was the first time I’d done two in one week though and both were highly therapeutic physically and mentally. The Thursday classes in the beginning were a get out of the house and go hang with the people that just let me be me, while getting an hours worth of exercise in. I didn’t really push myself in the early goings for a couple of reasons, I wasn’t eating enough so didn’t have the energy and wasn’t feeling motivated. But the past couple of weeks I’ve started focusing on the class itself and me. The discoveries have been eye opening.

I feel like I should be taking a tape recorder with me on Thursdays so that I can remember how each comment she makes touches me but I feel like that’s too analytical. So all the things I’d like to say I won’t get out here but just know I feel mentally and physically challenged after her class.

I’ll start with last Thursday. I’d hit my all time low. My rock bottom had finally been reached. My ex asked for the official divorce and the finality of it all overwhelmed me. We had gone to the bank that day and my head was not in a good spot. My nutrition had not been great that day and I tanked the class, apparently to the point the instructor thought I was going to pass out. I processed that class though. I wasn’t on the brink from physical fatigue so much as mental fatigue. I was a wreck for a couple of days, but finally moved on.

So I get through the weekend just fine and decide since I’m childless on Monday I’ll get in a shadowboxing class and the spin class after it. The spin class got off to a slow start. The energy wasn’t really there, I kept checking my watch to see if it was over yet. Then our last hill interval was set to P!nk’s So What and away I went. The therapy began.

Good day Tuesday, then a step back on Wednesday and I wonder what Thursday will bring. The answer was energy. I hadn’t had much sleep the past couple of days but I was energized by the prospect of going to spin class. I love seeing my peeps on Thursday. I look forward to it as much as the spin so I was already feeling the vibe. The class was kick ass. She worked our booty off. I was just riding along minding my own business at the start and we get mostly through our first interval set when Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten comes on to get us through it. I totally switched gears at that point from just a spin class to “listening” to music, the instructor and my heart. I cut my head right out of it. Just went with the flow and processed. And being in this class is just like reading your horoscope. The instructor has no clue what you are going through personally. They don’t know what you are processing away from the class. But I just listened to her. I had started doing it last week. But this week she’s giving encouragement to get you through the class and little does she know the depths of her words. That what she says has such a bigger meaning or impact on a person sitting there right in the front row. How can she? She’s there telling me to push my limits, find what I can accomplish, challenge myself to move forward and when I started listening to her with my heart, I started to push myself physically. It was the best workout I’d had to date. I look forward to Monday’s class with her because she’s better than any therapy I was getting from my counselor and she doesn’t even know it.

Head vs Heart or the Anatomy of a Break-up

I've been through my share of break-ups. I've done most of the breaking, but the inevitable finally came for me and I was broken. I never saw it coming, never thought I would be the one to go through it. I thought I was on top of the world. I was smug, egotistical about it even to some extent probably. I took it for granted. I never fought hard enough, long enough, deep enough. I just expected I'd always be enough, because I provided everything. Well almost everything. I was inattentive. I wasn't sensual. I wasn't sexual. I wasn't a "care" giver. Ultimately I failed it as much as she did. Can I truly fault her for being "done"? Can I truly resent her for not WANTING to "try"? Can I truly be angered by her lack of desire to want to make something work that hasn't for some time? Sure I can, but would it be fair? To fault, resent or be angered when I'm just as guilty. She could argue I didn't "try", that I've been "done" or I've lacked desire for awhile, because I didn't SHOW her how much she meant to me. I didn't make her FEEL like the world revolved around her. She probably felt like a place holder. I can't begin to analyze how she feels because she won't talk to me. She won't let me in. So where do we go from here? Divorce apparently. At least that's what she wants. And the sooner the better as far as she's concerned.

So here I go. I'm a logical, analytical person who has the unfortunate characteristic of FEELING too deeply as well. I've always worn my heart on my sleeve. I give deeply, extensively, ultimately of myself whomever you are. I think it's the one thing she misunderstands about me. That even though she wants to no longer be my wife, she will never be free of my concern or my fear or my worry for her. I've spent too many years on those emotions devoted and dedicated specifically to her. But what I misunderstand about myself is that doesn't necessarily mean I'm still "in" love with her. Nor does it mean I've been "in" love with her for some period of time. It does mean I love her. Am I still attracted to her, hell ya! She's gorgeous, beautiful, but was I "happy"? Ultimately probably not. There were things that I couldn't stand. She couldn't complete a project. She had no motivation to pursue the things she was amazing about. She lacked desire not just for me or our marriage but for everything she started. As everyone keeps telling me...I can't change her, can't make her more productive for her "hobbies" or give her desire to achieve. So ultimately its not on me and eventually I will be unhappy with where she's ended up. Would I like to get the chance to see that for myself? You bet. I still want to make all her dreams come true. But she has to know what those dreams are first and she doesn't nor do I think she has the capacity to seek her heart for what they are. I, unfortunately, truly believe she's "content" with mediocrity. She doesn't have desires beyond simple pleasure. She doesn't have a big picture, she lives for the moment and the moment she's living for right now doesn't include the planner that I am. I can certainly respect that. I don't have to like it right now. But I'm beginning to understand it.

This is where we get to head vs heart. My head has been speaking all along. My head knows how to partition all of this. My head is ready to move on and explore what is out there. I have desires, goals that I want to accomplish. I want to embrace life and live every moment like it's my last. Irony of it all, I feel like she's been holding me back and yet we wouldn't even be where we are if she hadn't had a maternal instinct to raise a child. She got me to this point. It's as though she got me to the cliff's edge and there's a bridge to a whole new world that she just won't allow herself to cross. I'm ready, I want to see what's on the other side, what awaits me. What adventures there are to explore. If we stay married do I think that all of the things I'd like our son to do would happen? No I don't because she will barely leave the house. We've been in the Pacific Northwest 6 years, within 4 hours of 3 volcanoes and never been to the park. We only just ventured to the Pacific Coast this past summer. Would we ever ski with him? No. Would we ever go to Canada as a family? Not likely.

Now for my heart. Do I want her back right this minute? No. I don't. Did I see that answer coming? No I didn't. One week ago, I was an absolute mess, I would have been on my knees begging. Would I ever consider a relationship with her again? I don't know. And again, not the answer I expected. An hour ago I was ready to pick up the phone and text her, telling her again how sorry I was that I wasn't more attentive. That it's unfortunate that I couldn't have had this renaissance I'm having right now while we were together. It could have made the last 10 years more fun. Would it have mattered? I don't know. One part of me thinks not. She downloaded Kelly Clarksons' latest song, Already Gone. Had I listened to it sooner I would have known there was something wrong, maybe even been somewhat prepared for the inevitable. Does it make it any easier? Absolutely not. Does it not hurt to be told you're unwanted, not attractive to the person you've been with the past 10 years? It hurts like hell. But why? Is it ego? Is it self-confidence? It feels personal, your self-esteem certainly takes a hit. But did it hurt because she left me or bruised me.

When I lead with my head, I've managed to compartmentalize it all and move myself on. When I'm still and alone and quiet, my heart begins to "think". To wonder, to "what if". But each day I realize that those are things I'm not going to get the answer to so I really should just stop torturing myself with them. Each day it gets a little easier to be alone. To adjust to being a single parent. To adjust to "sharing" my son. I think more than anything that hurts the most. To see him come from a "broken" home, to have to experience what many American children do and go through this divorce. But as one of my best friend's pointed out in her article, ultimately hopefully he'll have 4 people that care immensely about him and want what's best for him and support his goals and dreams.

I will let my heart process, but know that I have to stop acting on impulse. That alone just drives her farther away. I know she needs her space and I just keep smothering her. Eventually I hope we find a happy medium of friendship that will allow us to be the best parents for our son that we can be. And that we love and respect who the other is and I hope that she understands that I only always want the best for her and ultimately I just want her to be happy. I'm sad that I couldn't do those things for her, but I hope that one day, there will be a person that will allow me to give freely of the emotions that I carry and won't find those a burden. And that she can find a person that is content to live in the moment and make her feel loved and cherished for all that she does. As Tim McGraw says,"Just to see you smile." I wouldn't trade the last 10 years for anything. I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned a lot about love and happiness and family and giving. And I have an amazingly beautiful son that is the center of my universe. For all of those things I love her for giving me and am thankful for every moment.

Now to grasp my future. Find my happy mediums. And let my ember burn, because I know there's a fire inside ready to erupt. And that's my heart talking.

Marriage? The Constitution? & everything in between

As many of you might know fodder for my cannon comes from FaceBook. I love reconnecting with people and am friends with a wide variety of personalities. If you've read this blog at all you know I'm liberal and I constantly challenge people's belief systems. Not because I'm mean, but because I'm a highly logical person who believes that logical, sensible solutions should dictate my life and not irrational behavior.

One friend, yes he's a friend, one that I respect very much, posted this comment on Facebook today (and it's a direct quote): The Constitution of the United States of America IS NOT A "LIVING" DOCUMENT SUBJECT TO REVISION.

Now I will proceed. I feel mostly compelled to respond to this for many reasons. Being gay and yesterday being a voting day with gay marriage a major issue being played out on several ballots including one in my state (Ref 71, the Everything but Marriage law passed) I feel that the constitution is a matter for debate. I've been thinking about this all morning, so much so that on my run I missed when my iPod told me I was at the half-way point and to turn around. So I've had lots of opportunity to organize my thoughts.

First I want to start with the term marriage. Yes, it is used in the Bible and is considered to be a union between a man & a woman. Yes, it is derived from 12th Century Old English and 13th Century Old French to describe the union between a man & a woman. The derivision of the word is also masculine and was first used in a patriarchial society. Now last I checked we are in the 21st Century. We no longer are technically considered a patriarchial society, although sometimes I wonder. The Bible is no longer the legal basis for our residence, the laws of our countries are. Thankfully we live in a country that has learned the separation of Church & State. So I propose this. If conservatives, Christians, religious zealots and all inclusive that don't want gay marriage want to preserve the sanctity of what marriage is, that's fine. They are right, by definition, marriage is between a man & a woman (of course, let's not forget that the word "ain't" was not in the dictionary when I was a kid, and now is, so the dictionary is technically a living document subject to change and this definition could be altered). However, "marriage" is technically not a constitutional right for anyone...no where is it even mentioned. There are several rights that are protected by our Constitution and please bear with me as I'm going to re-post actual excerpts from the document to support my points.

Amendment 14 - Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868.
1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

Let's take a pause to comment on the above Amendment. Firstly there is no distinction about race, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, etc. No state shall deprive any person of life, liberty or property nor deny the equal protection of the laws. So nowhere does it state that marriage cannot be extended to all.

Now in my opinion, marriage should not be used to describe a legal union. This word was used for lack of a better word in a time when homosexuals were practically unheard of. It was used by the government to establish a legal resolution to a situation that supported monogamy, taxation and accounting. Ideally the government would have accepted a separation of church & state long ago and used different terminology to describe "civil unions". So now is the opportunity for the government to make that change. Preserve marriage as a religious symbol, a union performed within a church, chapel, etc by a minister, priest, etc. Allow unions for purposes of accounting, taxation and consensus taking. More and more gay couples are adopting. More and more gay couples are having children of their own. Not just from the standpoint of the couple but for the protection of the child and their rights, this should be legalized. For instance in some states the adoption of our son is not acceptable because we are both parents legally. In OK for instance we would likely not have been allowed to adopt period. If we'd been able to get past family services and one of us could have adopted then how would that have affected our son? Only one of us could make health decisions for him. Only one of us would be able to give him permission to do things. Only one of could act as a legal guardian. Therefore if the one of us who was declared the "legal" parent had something horrific happen where would that leave the child. Tied up in a legal mumbo jumbo...with no protection to the other who was acting as a parent all along. So for my take on this, marriage is a religious or societal institution utilized by the government to provide structural laws to partnerships between a man and a woman. Just let the gays have another word that is recognized equally. Problem solved. Everyone's happy within the eyes of the government.

Now to move on to my second topic. The Constitution not as a living document. Well, if it weren't then there would be no amendments. Thus technically it was designed to be just that, a living, revisable document. Our forefathers fortunately did have the foresight to see that our nation would not be stagnant. They acknowledged that our government would evolve. The realization that society would grow and blossom was addressed by allowing amendments. In my opinion the Constitution was meant to be the epitome of a living document. Originally it was set forth as the Bill of Rights. The original 10 "laws" of the land. Almost immediately amendments were added. And another example of it being a living document is the fact that when an amendment is attached, the amendment cannot be removed, but has to be amended itself. For instance, prohibition. Alcohol was completely outlawed in the country, the government realized that wasn't gonna work, so instead of removing the amendment, the amendment had to be amended.

I really had so much more to say, but over the course of the day I had to do things and thus lost my momentum before I could get everything written down...I'm sure more debate will be stirred up or at least I hope it will. This is good exercise for my brain.

Why I Don't Watch Awards Shows or Take Some Freakin' Responsibility

So yet another pet peeve has surfaced for me and this one I generally don't let get to me. I whine and rant about it for a few minutes then let it go...thought it eventually might be blog material and lo and behold here we go...would have left it alone, but I got "deleted" on FB because apparently it would seem someone must have taken my well wishes the wrong way and was offended. Of course that person should know that it was meant with good intent and meant to offer support but clearly that person doesn't know me as well as they should.

So what the hell is it you ask? Take some damn responsibility for where you are in life. I recently did a triathlon and if I never hear the phrase,"On your left" again it'll be too soon, but another phrase that has been whittled to a nub is,"I first want to Thank God for giving me this gift that put this award in my hands." Or "I'm praying for such & such to happen". Or "pray that I get what I want."

Okay first of all that talent you got was from your genetic make-up. You got the right combination of genes that made your voice box perform at the perfect pitch, you got the right genes that effortlessly shaped your ear canal during gestation that allows you such great balance while you're dancing or doing gymnastics or singing. You have a great genetic makeup that allows you to pack on the muscle you need to run the 100m at lightning speed. And your dedication and endless hours of practice, sweat and tears to put that gift to work. That gift was from your parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, etc and passed along to you through generations, not from some mythological being with a big white beard and staff looking down on you (and by the way does he not remind you of someone? Like Neptune with his trident, or Zeus with his lightning bolt throwing staff?)

Secondly, really if there was this mythological beast, do you really think he cares about the minutiae of your life when there are little kids being tortured and abused by their parents? I mean he doesn't bestow things on you because you're worthy. If that was the case there would be very few people worthy of anything. You made your choices that set your life in motion and no one but you were in charge of those choices. I know I'm at the place I am in my life because of my choices. I choose to accept that I don't own a house because my credit sucks because I made bad decisions, but I also know that I have a home to live in and a happy family to support because I made the sacrifice and effort to get my college degree and provide for my family. None of that was God's will and I take full responsibility for it all. Was I helped? You bet, but not by some damn ethereal being, but by my family, friends, partner that supported me emotionally, mentally and financially. Through good & bad.

I hate watching awards shows cuz every dang speech starts the same way. I mean if there's a God why would he continuously heap rewards upon these people as they clearly don't need our help, they are all beautiful, talented, smart and God gave it all to them...what did we ever do wrong that we don't get such showered on us? I'm guaranteeing I'm smarter than Jessica Simpson but I'm not making millions. I can't throw a football more than two feet but I can help fight cancer, again not making hundreds of thousands even. So if I pray that I should make more money than a baseball player or Mariah Carey, will my prayer be answered? Uh no, because there's no way that I will take the actions necessary to do that, because I don't have the MOTIVATION to get a PhD and force my way through the circuits that would eventually yield me a job that pays like those.

IF YOU GET AN A ON TEST YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD, PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR LEARNING AND MAYBE THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS THAT THEY SPRINKLED A LITTLE FAIRY DUST OVER YOU. NEXT TIME YOU HIT ONE OVER THE GREEN MONSTER, PAT YOURSELF ON YOUR BACK, LIKE YOUR TEAMMATES WILL DO, THANK YOUR TRAINER, YOUR COACH, YOUR AGENT. WHEN YOU GET THAT HOUSE YOU WANTED, CELEBRATE THAT YOU DID WHAT YOU NEEDED TO DO TO GET THE BANKS TO APPROVE YOU. APPLAUD THE EFFORTS YOU MADE TO GET YOUR CREDIT IN ORDER, CONGRATULATE YOURSELF ON SAVING THE DOWN PAYMENT AND SHARE THE MOMENT WITH YOUR PARTNER/FRIEND/LOVER/FAMILY THAT SUPPORTED YOU ON YOUR JOURNEY.

Show some confidence and be proud of yourself. Have a little self-respect that you accomplished something because of your choices. And when things don't go your way, recognize that it wasn't God's will, reflect on what you could have done differently and learn from the mistake, cuz otherwise the mistake will just keep happening. Why? Because you didn't make any effort to change yourself. If the loser guy keeps calling you, why is that? Maybe if you changed your outlook and attitude, the positive energy will attract the "right" guy. The positive energy will provide an aura that losers won't gravitate toward. When you get an "F" acknowledge that you could have passed that test if you'd spent your night studying instead of smoking weed or drinking with your buddies or channel surfing in your pjs. When you don't get that promotion, figure out what it is that you need to change to affect the perception surrounding you. Accept change and change will accept you.

President Obama's Speech

So it's been awhile since I've gotten on my soapbox about something and traffic is slowing to a halt on my blog so I figured I'd tackle the latest current issue: "The Speech".

Maybe my memory is a bit foggy, but I'm pretty sure other presidents have spoken to students in the past. I seem to recall Reagan forcing us into a physical fitness test. I also seem to recall how horrible it was and how patently obvious it was I was completely un-athletic, as I couldn't climb the rope or the wall. Then everyone seems to be forgetting Bush was reading in the classroom when the 9/11 incident occurred (convenient I think, as I'm sure he was part of the whole planning in that deal, but I digress with my conspiracy theories).

I've seen the questions that the White House has forwarded to schools to engage students after the speech and wow, I can totally see how the indoctrination thing has taken hold. I mean there's all kinds of stuff about killing your parents if they speak out against the government or turning them in if they overstep the bounds that might threaten the government...oh wait, never mind that was Hitler and there is absolutely no freaking comparison to what Obama intends. NOTHING WHAT SO EVER!

He intends to say things like, wait for it...stay in school. *GASP* Not that...please Julius disobey the president because he's giving horrible advice about school. And he intends to say things like, unbelievably, help your community. Not that, cuz charity in our house is completely ignored (I mean in 2009 alone we really stuck it to charity when we donated to Breast Cancer, the Veteran's Administration, raised over $1000 for LLS and bought 2 backpacks full of school supplies for under privileged children). Yes Jules, please go against what the president says and don't help your community at all, please make fun of those poor kids in your class that couldn't afford school supplies and since every one was convinced what the president was going to say was bad told their kids to ignore him. So luckily all those kids will be ignored.

The right is supposed to be the side of religion and Christian charity and maybe I'm mistaken, but I'm pretty sure Jesus preached love thy neighbor and all that mushy stuff. The GOP is seriously acting very un-Christian lately.

If someone had shown up at a presidential gathering that Bush was at with an AK-47 they would have been strong-armed to the ground and put in prison so deep he'd never see the light of day and I don't want anyone to say otherwise cuz we all know that would just be a lie.

Some people are saying: He's a horrible president. By what standard? I mean he hasn't even been in office a year. He hasn't decimated any countries he shouldn't be in, ahem. He hasn't obliterated the economy, ahem. Maybe the Republicans are responding the same way that the Democrats did when Bush was re-elected, we just weren't so vociferous or mean about it. I mean he hadn't done anything to earn our respect. Just as Obama hasn't done anything yet to not have our respect. I think it's ridiculous that people say I don't agree with him (when he hasn't even said anything yet) so I'm not going to let my kids listen.

GROW UP PEOPLE, WE'RE ALL ADULTS AND WE SHOULD BE MAKING DECISIONS WITH OUR HEADS AND NOT OUR DUMBASSES.

Why isn't this called a cult?

Okay so I've ranted against organized Christian religion, let's do a focus today on the "Church" of Scientology. I really love PZ Myers, he often provides some really good ammo (here's his blog: http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/).

So documents were leaked (hopefully by someone smart enough to realize how bogus this "Church" really is) and the application for getting into the cult, ahem Church was one of them...here's a link to that document: http://88.80.13.160.nyud.net/leak/scientology-class-v-org-contract.pdf

So some things to discuss:

1. Isn't the idea of a religious order to motivate you to become a life-time member of their established organization so that you can avoid eternal damnation? How many religions ask you for the term of your membership?

"hereinafter referred to as the "Church" for a period of
five (5) years / two and one-half (2 1/2) years (circle appropriate period).
Acceptance of my application is based on the following information"

2. Now I know that Scientology doesn't exactly adhere to God & Jesus theories but as far as Christianity goes, I'm pretty sure anyone can become a member of a church as long as you believe in God & Jesus and yada, yada that they spout, but when you go to one of these churches do they really ever ask this and then send you away if you answer yes?

"2. I have never been convicted of the commission of any criminal felony under the laws of any
jurisdiction."

3. This next one really gets me...I mean did anyone ask the founder this question cuz I'm pretty sure that is why this "religion" was founded:

"3. I have no institutional history of psychosis. "

4. I'm beginning to think I should just post the whole document cuz it just gets better, I mean number 3 kinda covers this I think, but I guess they want to be really specific and paranoid that you have not been psycho.

"4. I have no electric, insulin or other shock or psychiatric brain operation history."

5. From the next apparently you can be a drug user but they do not want you to be a drug pusher.

6. So no govt secret organization members can be apply, I wonder if that includes the Free Masons, MI6, MI5

"8. I am not related to or connected with any intelligence agency, either by past history or
immediate familial connection."

7. So the next few seem a bit redundant. more questions about mental history, and government organizations

8. Nope you can't use drugs either

Now I acknowledge that to become just a member you might not necessarily have to follow these tenets, but you can't imagine they are far off as any member of the church is a voice of the church, this is an application to join the church and become a staff member, cuz you know if you're gonna join the church you might as well go all out work for them too.

I really want to know why the media insists upon referring to this as a religion, they more than anyone have the power to call it like it is. From wikipedia the definition of a cult is:

"Cult definitions coined from 1920 onward refer to a cohesive social group and their devotional beliefs or practices, which the surrounding population considers to be outside of mainstream cultures. The surrounding population may be as small as a neighborhood, or as large as the community of nations. They gratify curiosity about, take action against, or ignore a group, depending on its reputed similarity to cults previously reported by mass media."